I feel like over the course of my life, I’ve developed a relatively ‘thick’ skin when it comes to certain things. I grew up with a loving family that loved to give each other a hard time and an uncle that loved nothing more than to embarrass me.
So, generally, I don’t tend to feel too embarrassed (just a normal amount and move on) about things that happen here. I’ve done some pretty embarrassing things too- vomited off the back of a jeepney (in motion) while passing a fish market that SMELLS like a fish market, projectile vomiting right in the middle of a sidewalk in the middle of the day, falling off a jeepney (more than once), tripping in the mall, butchering the local language, spelling something incorrectly while teaching English... I could really keep going if you’d like.
Well today I experienced my most recent embarrassing moment and I must say this got to me jusssst a little.
So- all week the faculty has been preparing to sing songs in chorus at a ceremony that we had today. This particular event was an “Oath Taking Ceremony and Acquaintance Party” which was basically an induction of all class officers, club officers, faculty officers, and PTA officers.
And this ended up being a bigger even than I was expecting because we had quite a few important guests show up to watch: the mayor, the vice governor, the governor’s brother, the former governor, other important people too but its really not too relevant to the story.
Like I was saying, we have been practicing these hymns all week after school and pretty much all morning. I felt comfortable with the parts, its not like I had a solo or anything. I just had to stand up there and sing with the faculty. You wouldn’t think that it would be that hard, right?
I march up there in line with everyone else. We sing the first song, no problem. By the second song I was feeling slightly uncomfortable and a little bit dizzy. During the third song (And yeah, there were only 3 songs, we couldn’t have been standing up there for more than 10 minutes) my body decided to work against me. I started having tunnel vision and could feel myself losing my balance. Luckily for me the teachers around me noticed too and immediately grabbed my arms and called for someone to get a chair. About 4 teachers were fanning me and then grabbed me to move me to another chair as we filed off stage.
Of course the teachers were mostly laughing about my 'experience' but were generally concerned. They told me that I was really pale and ice cold. Once I was sitting down, I felt fine but they insisted that I needed to place my head between my legs so they actually shoved down on my back forcing me into a fetal like position while rubbing my back and me attempting to shout from my legs that I was fine and I would like to sit up straight.
Yes, the American is capable of ruining a short three-song performance. Yes, this ‘faint’ spell did happen in front of every prominent member of my community and my entire school. Yes, my faculty did offer to take me to the hospital but I politely declined. And yes, they did also tell me (jokingly I think) that I shouldn’t perform with them anymore since I ‘faint when nervous.’
I tried to tell them that I don’t faint when I get nervous and remind them about all the events that I’ve helped them with and spoke at but it’s no use. I nearly collapsed. There is nothing I can do about that.
This event was also quite documented so when it appears on Youtube, I’ll make sure to post you a copy for your blog.
For those who read this and maybe feel concerned about my well-being and empathetic to the terribly embarrassing moment that I experienced, thank you. You are kind hearted.
And for those who read this and didn’t even make it half way through without laughing (mom and Maggie), you’re a jerk. Lol.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?